My Future, My Life
6.05AM…
How many people are still awake at such hour? Not many, or I would say, none. No thanks to the washing the kitchen and toilet session at 1AM.
Going through Reading thorough my notes for the next paper, I can’t help it but to think that what am I doing with all these notes and papers when most of my friends are busying with their FYP (Final Year Project) and preparing to graduate in just another few more weeks. I’m not going to blog about what happened, how it happened and why I ended up in such situation / engineering because I am pretty sure / assume that most of my readers knew it before hand.
My parents always ask me what I want to do with my studies and life, and the question never fails to pop up during the confrontation. I never answer them because I wasn’t really sure or shy or afraid or for whatever reason it was to speak it out but deep down inside me, I know what I want to do with my life. I have my own goals and dreams to keep me going.
Looking at my friends that are about to graduate or already graduated or have started their master’s program, I can’t help it but to feel embarrassed but not ashamed whenever the elders pop the question, asking me when am I going to graduate.
“When are you graduating?”
“Maybe two more years cause I am extending my course.”
“Why?”
“Cause I failed too many subjects.”
Whether is it going to take me another one or two or even the maximum three years, I am going to complete this fucked up degree of mine. Not only I want to put a full stop on something that I started five years ago, I need that degree to apply for a job. You and I know very well that even though it is just a piece of paper, that piece of paper is going to make a whole lot of difference. For that piece of paper, the difference in the basic pay of my future job is RM1000.
Engineering course itself is difficult, what more when I have close to zero interest with the course. On top of that, the laziness inside me. My parents are squeezing their pockets to come up with the money to pay my tuition fee every three months and there’s nothing much I can do except to push myself harder and graduate. I feel sorry for them because at my age, 23, my parents are still worrying about my condition and future, whereas my peers are already living on their own or have started their own business or having a full time job.
Pa and Ma, I’m sorry to tell you that there are three (maximum) years to go.
I wrote “embarrassed but not ashamed” in the previous paragraph, but why? At my age, I am not totally doomed yet. I may not be the next Kenny Sia, Minishorts, smashpOp, Boss Stewie or any other celebrity bloggers out there, but I know my blog is one of the things that I can be proud of. Of course, credit goes to all the readers of “Jason Mumbles”. The feeling of being recognized on the streets and / or seeing some random guy’s / girl’s monitor displaying my blog is indescribable with words or pictures.
Stringing for The Star is one of the biggest achievements that I managed to achieve in my early 20’s. Not for The R.age, not for Brats, not for some random readers’ columns but Metro South & East, Central and even Nation.
“I know this reporter, he is my friend.”
“I read your article in the papers today! Good job!”
“I saw your name in the papers today!”
“I’m very proud of the article you wrote for our function.”
I may not write like a professional yet, but I, somehow, do know what it takes to get my news published in the papers. Given the right chance and guidance, I can handle local news on my own while my editor goes on with her nation news. Too bad, she was transfered back to KL and it’s like starting from ground zero with the new editor.
Screw engineering, this is the job that I want to work as and the path that I want to walk on. I’m very sure about this because I, truly, enjoy and like what I am doing now. It may be different when I am working full time, but I still love it way more than engineering. I have three more years to improve my writings, to gain more experience, to get more exposure and to get to know the field inside out before I step foot into the real life of media and journalism.
An old teacher of mine told me that I will never get rich by working as a journalist. Honestly, I think it is quite true. However, going through the pain and suffering of doing something that I never like and want to or to do something that I love and enjoy, I choose the latter. I made a mistake while selecting my course, I should not make the same mistake for my job. I rather be earning moderately rather than dragging my feet to the office and face all the circuit boards.
“Make The Star as your first stepping stone and job, not the last.” - Yuk Peng.
Hopefully, it will be my first job and to write for Section Two. Why Section Two? Lifestyle, something that I can easily relate to and love. As for my the even further future, lets just keep it for myself for the mean time. I have plans drafts for that as well.
Despite being far behind my peers in terms of academic, I am not behind or maybe, ahead of them when it comes to earning money or side income. If one is called independent by living on his / her own income, then, I am no different from them. My parents decided to stop giving me allowance since early 2007 and I have “successfully” lived on my own for the past three months. Thanks to my part time job and blog. Of course, I don’t have an income of RM2000, but enough to support myself and that shouldn’t be a problem. Does that make me different from those who have graduated and are working full time now? I would say no, not sure bout you though.
Coming from a family where I need to earn almost everything with my own bare hands and sweat, I am even more proud of myself. While others are lucky enough to have their parents to buy them a notebook / desktop computer or giving them sufficient or more than enough allowance or granting them most of the things that they wished or wanted, I am not that lucky. Most of my desires were bought with my own hard earned cash. Topping the list is my yet to arrive notebook (RM3799), followed by my digital camera (FZ30) (RM2480) and my mobile phone (N70) (RM1600). One may say those are the things that I want, not I need. If those are not the things that I need, then, what are the things that I need? Fine, exclude the mobile phone.
Of course, I have my desires too, a RM10k budget for my dSLR, a trip and savings. Sook Ying was asking me whether I can attend her graduation in December in US. I’m very pessimistic about it as there’s less than six months to save but it got me all hyped up. It doesn’t have to be end of this year, it can be anytime when I think I have save enough to do a little traveling. Who knows how much I can save within the span of three years / when and if I graduate?
Do I know what I want to do with my life? In my life? For my life?
I certainly do. At least I think I do.
Related posts:
April 2nd, 2007 00:33
What about switching courses? Switch to a Engineering diploma and you can transfer most of the subjects I think. Then in the future if you think you still need that degree, then go ahead and take a night course or something.
April 2nd, 2007 00:46
I feel happy for you, at least you know your goals and dreams and you are halfway there.
April 2nd, 2007 01:04
Way to go.. kid..!!
If you know your goals and dreams.. shouldn’t you be changing course..??? what good to be studying something. .. that you have absolutely no interest in..??? at 23 you are still very young. Wait till you are auntie’s age.. 42 .. 20yrs later.. than you will be consider late.. hahhahah!! Embrace life to its fullest.. Jason..! do what you think is best for you .. and live life to its maximum.. be happy..!
April 2nd, 2007 01:21
I am worst than you ler ….
Ur post makes me abit PMS …but anyway, i am really happy for u.
At least u still got some goals and achievement u see …..Which is something to be proud of for sure. Jia yu pa !
April 2nd, 2007 01:37
All the best..engineering’s tough like crap…study hard ya! Work hard on ur journalism too :D
April 2nd, 2007 02:15
i hate engineering too. i respect you for following your passion. not much i can say for myself.
*looks at thermodynamics, statics, and electronics textbook*
WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS?!
April 2nd, 2007 03:04
There is no point of continue studying if you know you hate the course. I think Decypher has a valid point- switch to a diploma course.
Someone dear to me used to study in a local college and her parents forked out 4-digits every term or so. She tried hard but failed most of her subjects. She got insomnia before every test and exam. She cried countless times. And few months later, her parents got a letter of dismissal from the college. The mum rang up the college and the person in charge said “why are you wasting money on your daughter?” Her mum was speechless but she continued begging so her daughter could continue her studies.
2 terms later, she finally managed to pass but she knew she wouldn’t be able to continue anymore. She talked to her parents that she wanted to discontinue with the course and wanted to do something more technical- hairdressing and make up. Her ever supportive parents enrolled her into an academy.
And they never regretted this decision.
Good luck.
April 2nd, 2007 04:21
whatever it is..don’t be so stupid to contemplate suicide(ie your last post..) even if you’re only joking.
Yes, it may be a piece of paper. But that’s how our realistic society functions. :) You know it. And with that, push yourself harder.. just keep going. just attempt. just focus!
Then when you’ve graduated, go to the ever waiting doors of The Star.:)
Good luck my friend, 3 years is not a long time. 1 year is even shorter.:) Ganbate, Jason kor!
April 2nd, 2007 09:49
Remember http://jasonmumbles.com/2007/02/chinese-new-year-2007#comment-13446.
April: Beware of losing money! Things that might go wrong have a big chance to do so.
Don’t worry as it is only for one month and even Timothy has, ahem, witness some bad luck too. I think my comment for this post is ahead of its time and you can read them again on the mail I sent you on Fri, Feb 23, 2007 at 8:42 AM.
What more can I say…hmmm…well I’m a big fan of Chinese astrology, maybe this would help, http://www.purpleking.com/.
ps. It is better to start life bitter and end sweet than vice-versa. And this may sound like crap, but the way I found your blog through googling soft boiled eggs was, well, written in the stars.
April 2nd, 2007 10:06
I m not going to say it again like what i said last time to ask u change course but u continue with engineering.
Good luck.
by the time u grad, u baru 25/26.. it;s not too old to start a job, considering me also started at end of my 24.. :)
过渡期来的啧！
please really love your course, at least pass all your subjects..
April 2nd, 2007 10:54
I read a book about Richard Branson before.
He always wanted to be a journalist but he realised that he will never be rich being a journalist so he decided to start a record business (Virgin Records) that in the end made him rich.
That however doesn’t mean that you have to follow down that path.
I know a lot of journalists who have worked with newspapers here in Malaysia. They don’t go around driving Ferraris or live in huge mansions but they live very comfortable lives. In return, what they get is a stable income every month, and almost stress-free.
At the end of it.. the question is what you want to do… and what kind of lifestyle will u be happy with. If you find something that satisfies both these questions, you are indeed walking down the right path already.
April 2nd, 2007 11:19
ur PPP made me think a lot of my current situation, but anyway, there are responsibilities to be beared…
I couldnt offer u much advice this time. But do think hard what do u wanna achieve in the future… If u were thinking to give up engineering path, just let ur parents know. Let them know what are other options that you do have at this moment of time. Tell them that even if u were to finish your engineering degree, you are not keen on doing anything related to electronics. The piece of paper doesnt do u anything good eventually.Get rid of the idea of the paper is a gurantee to ur good life. As i can assured you that, if you dont apply ur engineering knowledge within 2 years upon graduation, with no experience +knowledge (u tend to forget everything after 2 years, or 1 year), you could hardly get an engineering job, even though u own that engineering degree.
Sigh…i think u desperately need to talk to ur parents. If you insist that to complete the degree is tha last thing u could do for them, please do so then. Only after your completion of degree only you talk about that career path that you want. Dont let yourself be in the dilemma that you are facing now. I mean, if you wanna continue pursuing ur degree, give all out to achieve it. and it means no complaint+rant anymore… If you want to be a journalist in the future, quit ur MMU and study in the related field. Your parents wont blame you on this when they were to see you suceed in ur career one day. This is much much better than them wasting RMXXK each year for ur non-related study.
Do something that would please urself, and them (if you could).
April 2nd, 2007 15:10
I told you to tell Papa and Mama that you wanted to change course like what u considered before. Papa also said go ahead n give him the details. U said don’t want, afraid that you have no more reasons to fail? Sometimes,what Papa and Mama said it’s true. You suffer, Papa and Mama also suffer. You know there is a Chinese proverb “悬崖勒马”? Think about it. Sometimes I also feel sad, seeing you suffer like that and got scolded by Papa and Mama.
Nice to hear that you have plans for your future. You know what you want in your life but you are doing nothing. You like journalism but what you are doing is engineering. I know it’s difficult to tell Papa and Mama this time but you still have to make your step to tell them. I can’t be the one who carries across the message. I would suggest that you go for your dream and bring me there together.
Are you trying to insult me? I got everything I wanted. My phone, laptop, my video camera and etc. I admit that and I just got to know Mama stopped giving you allowance. Good! How does it feel like living on your own? Kesiannya.
You don’t really want to tell us what you are thinking. I don’t even know any of your secrets. Even Mama stopped your allowance, you also didn’t tell me. So sad. Remember that you said you don’t want this type of miscommunication / lack of communication between you and your future children, then start from your siblings. You can always talk to me. I’m here! That’s what siblings for, share your stuffs and secrets with us. I swear I won’t tell Papa and Mama if you don’t want to let them know. I can tell you mine but you always not interested.
I am still proud of you, respect you and always love you. You are the best brother although most of the time you only bully me. Love you.
April 2nd, 2007 15:22
I agree that you could consider changing to a diploma, or rather you can change your major to another one that better suit you “planned” future. Matters like these, they’re not dead-locked, it’s flexible, it’s just a matter of your decision.
But bear in mind that you’re still quite young la, I started my job at the age of 25. At least you’re earning to support yourself already, which I doubt many 23 year olds are doing nowadays. Keep it up…!
April 2nd, 2007 16:15
Don’t we all want to do something we love and get paid for it?
Many people are stuck doing something they absolutely hate, just for the sake of making a living. And worse still, they are not even sure what they are passionate about. At least you know what you enjoy doing. The choice is ultimately yours. If you are interested in journalism, then go for it.
April 2nd, 2007 16:47
岂能尽如人意，但求无愧于心。
做爱做的事。
April 2nd, 2007 19:43
I’m such a cry baby these days. Even reading Jamie’s response made me tear. Oh my.. Anyway, I don’t think I’m in any position to offer you any advice (because my own life is also in a mess now), but if you wanna “talk”, you know you can email me.
Take care, my dear :)
April 3rd, 2007 00:31
What? u need another THREE years to finish your current course!?
I understand U started this course blurblurly or influence by parents. However if you think you couldn’t handle it, eventhough you tried all the alternative ways, then change the path. see whatelse options you can take.
I also fail my advance diploma, even I changed 2 different colleges. But at least I got a job, then from there I learnt from zero.
So for that rm1000 paper, you may claim it later, so what?
A journalist might not get rich, but I think a writer can. You should know how much is that aunty XXXXX making right? 4digits of USD wo!
if you can produce a Jasonmumbles.com and be so proud of it, what’s wrong of producing another JasonMakingMoney.Com? As I say this is an alternative way.
Anyhow, concerntrate on your current job (Student), wait till you lost your job (graduate la) then there are many paths awaiting you…
Cheer up man!!
April 3rd, 2007 00:53
Jason, it is always good to know that you already have a target and what you want to be. A lot of old people told me that when they first started doing what they are currently good at, they don’t know a lot about what’s ahead of them. If you think about it, most people started out in the 70s are really thrown in the deep blue sea surviving on their own. Look at how many of them came through.
I’m not talking about all those rich people. They are successful in a way, but there are a lot more areas other than wealth that matters in your life. Job satisfaction is one of them. I think the most important thing is that when you’re doing the job, you still feel the same challenge and adrenaline rush as the first day of your job. Or if it ends up being boring, there’s always ways to make it interesting again. :D
Good luck man, although i couldn’t see your articles on the star since I can only access the online version and I tend to only look at headlines, but through your blog you are a helluva writer, not to mention u’re such a nice guy :D
All the best.
April 3rd, 2007 05:58
yeah tell bout it … i am in knee deep shit …
be grateful …
April 3rd, 2007 10:00
Decypher : Seeing that I have completed most of the subjects, it doesn’t really make sense to quit all of them and start from half-zero again. It’s like a 50-50 thing, that’s why I am very reluctant to switch my course.
Hao : I hope you found your goals and dreams too.
Mama Bok : I have completed almost 70% of my course already, to switch to another course and start all over again? Hmm, I don’t think its really wise to do that. I don’t know, it’s just my two cents. Hopefully, I really know what am I doing.
Ellone : You add oil too! Don’t just work for money, work for a purpose.
Blueapple : I definitely will. Thanks for the encouragement again.
Sewjin : You hated engineering after you studied it or before you studied it? It makes a lot of difference, you know. I hope you can go through this smoothly, not like me. Good luck.
Moopig : Perhaps financial constrain is a big issue for me and my family. At the age of 23 and my parents about to retire soon, this is a burden that I don’t want to give to my parents. Hence, finishing what I started would be a better idea compare to start all over again. Hmm… But thanks for sharing the story.
Jayelle : Thanks a lot, Mei Mei! *hugs* Just a piece of paper yet it makes a lot of difference. Sighs.
Giovoni : I didn’t took it seriously and until today you mentioned it, I find it spooky. Haha! Hopefully, what you wrote there will come true, especially for the good ones because I desperately need one now. Thanks again.
Cely : Hopefully this will end very soon or in three years time.
Boss Stewie : Once I am done with my studies, then I am walking the path that I want. :) Again Boss, thanks for your advice and encouragement.
JiNz : I will see what I can do. Am pretty sure among so many people, you are one of the few people that know me better. Besides, it’s not the first time we talked about switching courses or staying behind for engineering. Thanks anyway.
Jamie : Things are easier said than be done. So, let’s just walk over it.
Sue : I will see how it goes. If I can’t really go through it, perhaps I will try to work another solution out instead of continue like this. Hopefully, at the age of 23, my achievement is still a thing, even if its small, but at least, it makes me feel proud. That’s all I care.
King’s Wife : Thanks for the support!
Allison : Do what I love, yet I still need to be responsible for this engineering course I took up. :)
Pelf : Aww… *hands out tissue* I don’t know how messy it is for your life, but I sincerely hope we can solve our problems quickly. You take care too!
Loc Kee : Maximum three years. I started this in a blur direction / mind, not because influenced by my parents. If my parents was an influence, I might be studying form six actually. It’s not just RM1000 paper, but more like RM50k to RM60k if one is to study in MMU. Thanks for the support anyway!
Boss Lepton : Yes, I think job satisfaction is more important to me compare to the money. No doubt money is very important and I need them to survive, but if I need to drag my feet to the office everyday, I rather lively moderately then. I doubt my line of work will ever be boring, because of the materials and topics we are to write. However, the routine is the same though, just that, we are dealing with different things all the time. Thanks for the compliments. Hehe! Don’t worry, I can show you my portfolio when you are back. Haha!
Earl Ku : Have you consider of going to other places to find a job instead of just KL?
April 4th, 2007 02:17
At least now u got ur loving job…
actually i hope tat u can graduate wif me la…
give more efford la…actually pass not so tough…
wish u good luck in ur future too
April 11th, 2007 21:37
Sorry Jason. Today only check my mail and found ur PPP. Quickly jump over here to read this post, afraid u deleted it.
Wow. Back to the same topic again. As I remember, you did post something similar to this before right? And everytime, there are people ask you change course, and also continue with your engineering. So many suggestion made. And did you get any idea from our (the reader) comment?! Think so.
Since you have make up your mind on your future, go for it. I’ll support you and be there for you if you need someone to talk to.
Btw, its good that you include ur sis in the password list. Share with her through wording if you do not wish to do it by mouth.
April 11th, 2007 23:58
Sam YP : Thanks. Good luck to you too!
Young Brat : Hehe. Thanks for the support again! :D Yes, just let her know what’s going on with me rather than totally shut it off.