我妈的激励神功
我的妈妈有她自己一套”激励神功”. 只要我在家, 我肯定得和她来一场小小的武艺切磋. 通常只有我考完试后和成绩放榜了, 才会有一场惊天动地的决战. 爸爸和两个妹妹通常也会遭殃的, 蛮可怜一下. 她的招式, 不华丽, 不复杂; 靠的是简单, 直接和一连串式的攻击… 别小看这一点点的招式. 只要把它们串起来, 等我妈施展完她的”激励神功”, 可以是三十分钟或一小时后的事情. 严重的话, 两小时都有可能.
以下是她的招式 :
“又跑回来做什么?”
“又去哪里? 嫌汽油不够便宜是吗?”
“每天喝茶喝到一两点, 有意思吗?”
“你就不可以放多一点心机在你书上吗?”
“每天看电视, 有意思吗? 书又不见你读.”
“你回来除了吃, 睡觉, 看电视, 喝茶, 还会做什么? 有意思吗?”
“你如果肯把你 blog / 玩耍的心放在你读书上, 你早都是天材了啦!”
“书不见你读. 每次考到什么烂鬼成绩回来, 你还是不要读书好了啦!”
“放假就不能够自己温习一下吗? 非要等到老师教了才甘愿去读, 是吗?”
“人家叫你做的事情, 你一定做得到. 我叫你做的事情, 好像鬼拈你们喉咙酱.”
“书不见你读. 这边跑, 那边跑你又酱厉害. 叫你去买一点东西好像鬼拈你喉咙酱.”
“当初叫你读 Form 6, 你死都不要. 如果早知道你会读到酱的成绩, 我就不要送你进 MMU.”
“又打油? 你这个礼拜打了多少次油? 嫌汽油不够便宜是吗? 有本事就叫人家来载你, 知道吗?”
“车又坏了? 你知道修理你的车多少钱吗? 每个礼拜回来, 车一定坏. 你以为你爸爸妈妈是百万富翁啊?”
“回来就是不肯帮忙洗一下厕所, 扫一下地. 每次等我叫了, 你才去做. 那衣服晒在外面就是不肯收进来.”
“又看电视! 你知道你每次回来看电视, 你两个妹妹也跟着看, 她们就不用做功课, 弹钢琴了. 把电视机关掉!”
“那车买给你是要你方便. 不是要你去这边, 去那边. 你的车够旧了的, 还要驾车上 KL? 嫌汽油不够便宜是吗?”
“那辆车就是不肯 park 去后面. 每天放在外面给太阳晒, 好像那车不用钱买酱. 有本事就自己出钱买车, 知道吗?”
“学校的图书馆拿来摆美的. 你就不可以去图书馆借下书, 去那里读书的吗? 我们已经给钱了的, 你就好好去利用啦!”
“学校酱多学会和课外活动, 你没有参加吗? 每天不是跑回来, 就是对着电脑, 有意思吗? 你就不可以去参加一些活动, 去看下人家怎样搞活动吗?”
“你看一下人家, 郑康伦的姐姐 / 彭老师的女儿 / 万崇懿, 考到 4 Flat, 几 senang 你知道吗? PTPTN Loan 又不用还. 你就不可以学一下人家吗?”
“你几时才要毕业? 你知道你 extend 多一年要用多多少钱吗? 你以为钱会从树上掉下来啊? 你就不可以用功一点, 快快毕业吗? 你知道你早一点毕业, 我就 senang 几多吗?”
“我每天六点半起床, 然后去学校教书. 教到一点半才回家. 然后就一直教补习, 教… 教… 教… 教… 教到晚上九点多才回家. 有时候, 我累到顶不顺才去房间躺一下. 叫你们帮我教一下, 好像鬼拈你们喉咙酱.”
“我的薪水, 每个月供你, Jamie 和 Janis 的零用, 补习费, 钢琴费等等, 就已经去了一大半. 爸爸的薪水才 RMXXXX, 每个月要还 RM1500 屋子的钱, 还有单单爸爸每个月的电话费就已经 RM300, 家里的电话费, 水费, 电费要 RM300. 你知道家里的三辆车的汽油钱, 每个月都要 RM400. 我跟爸爸的薪水加起来都不够用. 我不教补习, 哪里够用?”
哎, 也难怪她打遍天下无敌手…
哎, 也难怪我为何那么不爱回家…
哪一位妈妈想要成为绝世高手 / 徒弟, 请向我妈报名.
P/S :
红色的乃是我妈的最爱用的招式. 每次 100% / 非常肯定 / 绝对 少不了它们的. 它们可以说是她的必杀技!
虽然母亲节过了, 还是要把它送给我妈妈. -blek-
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May 17th, 2006 15:32
Fuiyo.. i respect ur mom… teachers are like that.. is their job to lecture kids.. ahhaha
May 17th, 2006 15:33
aiyo, if u r good boy, then your mum no need ‘ngam ngam cham cham’ lor! :P
May 17th, 2006 15:33
Yeap.. I can understand how exactly you feel. Having a teacher as mom can be stressful. Endless comparing with other kids and having exceptionally high expectation on us. Just chill ok?
May 17th, 2006 15:34
Take her for medical check up la..
Im not kidding o…
Altho I dont know how old your mum is, but best to get her blood pressure checked.
May 17th, 2006 15:35
OK, I learn something from your mom liao, but I will add on some tears LOL…
May 17th, 2006 15:37
Cely : Kesian me… *sobs sobs*
Jesslyn : Even if I am a good boy, she will still nag one. Its part of her nature already.
Bubbles : I wonder if all teachers are the same. Your mum also?
Chea Hwey : She’s been checking her blood pressure every night. I am sure she’s ok most of the time, unless when I am back home, then she will have high blood pressure. LOL.
Twinsmom : LOL. 有酱凄凉吗?
May 17th, 2006 16:49
郑康伦的姐姐???? 郑康伦 is my uncle that passed away long time ago liao..!! wahlau…hahaha….
ur mom r rite lor… what she say very correct.. can’t u pay more attention to ur study?? u think petrol now very cheap meh… dun simply go here and there… yumcha until so late..u thiink good for ur health ar?? not only ur mom wanna nag u..i also wan… really really can’t tahan if i got a kids like that…
my house aredi got example..my brother…same same with u… pagi pagi balu balik and sleep until night…then night time very active… aighh…. really dun understand u guys why so so so…. aiyah..dun1 to say lar
May 17th, 2006 17:12
arm…I actually sympathise your mom leh.
May 17th, 2006 17:49
ya ya…her blood pressure dunnoe how high ler..
haha
u go hug hug her..:P
c wat her reaction
kakkakakakaka
but u really need to faster graduate o…!!! gambateh!!
May 17th, 2006 19:04
嗯，你母亲很会运用修辞手法来“攻”你们，哈哈。
衬托、反问、设问、对偶…. etc.
可以建议她叫华文了。 :P
May 17th, 2006 20:15
Milly : Same name is nothing to be surprised about lah. -sweat- Guys are like that one lah, what you expect us to do? Stay at home and rot meh? We also don’t understand gals why you all so so so…
Earthtone : You should pity me more ler… You don’t be like my mum, else ZiHeng also complain. Haha!
Emily : Sighs… I also want to graduate one ler…
CLF : She is teaching chinese in primary school. haha!
May 17th, 2006 20:56
ok…guys r like that, can’t u all change abit? so that ur mom wont ngam ngam?? u see..all ur mom ngam also ur studies and money not enuff… y dun u try to work harder in ur studies?? and dun always go out? use the time to study and achieve good result for her to see lor… then she will not ngam ngam cham cham lor… i noe entertainment very important also..but go out yumcha until midnite really no good lor….
if u really change to good boy there is no way ur mom will nag again rite?? mom always care u only say that….
and if u become parents aredi..then u will noe how hard is ur mummy lar..and u will start regret lar…!! believe me…. be a good boy lar..study hard lar… make ur mom proud of u lar.. instead of wasting time on yumcha too much ler…
May 17th, 2006 21:08
哈哈!姚老师很好料咧!老哥,看来你真要好好反省反省啦.因为以这种攻势看来并不像是作老师的通病咧,应该纯粹是个案吧,因为…很幸运的,我家两老都很少来这套咧.你…反省反省吧.哈哈.
May 17th, 2006 23:54
eh.. if this post is new.. how come its below the mabeline one.. i almost didn’t see it… thought u didn’t update ur blog.
May 18th, 2006 02:23
U sure ur daddy never read this?
hahaha
I think my mum is the same la.a
I will do think when she is not around.
When she is around, i will become very lazy and hard to move my ass.
dunno why.
May 18th, 2006 02:34
Milly : Sighs… You can be my mum’s student already lah~! Lazy to talk to you.
Ah Tzy : I still think its every teacher’s sickness. :P You are just lucky that your parents didn’t kena. Blek…
Boss Stewie : The Maybelline post will be there as a sticky until the contest ends mah. So continue to vote for her ah! :D
MengZ : My dad don’t know how to read chinese, but he will ask my mum to read. LOL. So, no matter what, I’m still dead. Haha… Its because we just don’t want to listen to them. :P
May 18th, 2006 18:14
Aiyo.. then you mah sang-seng dit loh..
She also have a tough life.. have to work long hours.. come back all the kids never help with house work.. If me.. I also will fat-lan-ja.
May 18th, 2006 19:13
sang seng dit lar….. ti liang ur mom abit la… life is very hard now!
May 18th, 2006 21:01
Zara’s Mama : Hehee… I didn’t do anything ler. :D
Milly : Lazy to talk to you.
May 19th, 2006 14:36
i afraid i will become like that some day… but she is good for u lar..must listen to them…keke
May 19th, 2006 15:02
yeah lah..u think easy ah?
now my weekly RM100 which RM2.15/liter also killing me liao..and 3 cars to maintain i will cry hard hard…
yeah loh, u still study already spent so much money really jiat lat leh….
kekekeke uncle here ..see my 大海无量!!!!
BPBPBPBPBPBPB
May 19th, 2006 18:39
Irene : If you ever become like that, I am going to pity JJ.
Lee C.S. : I where got spend so much money. Those things are bought with my own money and effort one ler. *sobs* I only pump about RM130 per month ler.
May 21st, 2006 11:20
Haha…My God! So u still wanna come KL tis weekends??!! I suggest yr mum go to wach de s’pore movie 1st “I am not stupid!” hahaha…
May 21st, 2006 16:17
LOL. Still mau go KL, don’t care. :D