To Pay Or Not To Pay?
I was totally broke last week and left with RM20 to survive for the remaining 6 days. It was a few days ago when a girl (Kudos to you if you know who is she.) invited me for a drink in Coffee Bean as she needed somebody to accompany and listen to her, after a whole day of studying. I actually wanted to decline her invitattion because I was left with RM20 only. I would have nothing left for the remaining 6 days if I were to go Coffee Bean with her. However, she trusts me and likes to chat with me whenever she is bored or facing problems. Therefore, I did not want to dissapoint her and I went out with my last RM20 in my wallet.
I ordered Pure Chocolate Ice Blended for RM11 and she ordered Mocha Ice Blended for RM13. Oh great, she had to pay! I had RM20 only, remember? Then, she ordered a slice of Tiramisu for RM8.30. A slice of cake costs RM8.30?! They are doing day light robbery business! Oh well, I took out my last RM20 and asked her whether she could pay the balance. She took out another RM15 from her purse and gave it to me. I paid the bills and we chatted for 2 hours.
After I used up my last RM20 that night, I had to survive by eating RM0.50 Gardenia vanilla flavoured bread for the next few days. You might call me stupid for being so foolish for not asking her to pay for her own drinks and cakes, but I do not care. I would rather choose to starve myself than to let a girl pay. Until today, I still feel bad and guilty to let her pay that night. I feel even worse if the girl pays for me. Whenever I have the chance to go out with a girl (Most of the time is “a” girl.), I would pay on behalf of the girl throughout the outing, from drinks, meals to junk foods and once, I even paid for their shopping spree and facial treatment. I waited there for like 45 minutes for her to finish her facial treament. The last two were exceptional cases though.
In my personal opinion, I feel that, as a gentleman, I ought to pay for the girl if she is to go out with me regardless of whether it is a “yamcha” session at a “mamak” stall or Coffee Bean; watching a normal classed movie or a gold classed movie. Beisdes, I suppose most girls expect the guys will pay for them, whenever, wherever and whatever, right? How am I going to tell the girl to pay for herself or to collect money from her before I drop her off?
“Can you please pay me back RM19.30 for the Mocha Ice Blended and Tiramisu?”
“You owe me RM19.30 for the drinks.”
“Will you pay me RM19.30?”
“Next time, you pay for me, ok?”
“I gave you a treat in the previous session, it should be on you tonight.”
Fcuk! I can never imagine myself saying that to a girl! It does not only potraits how stingy I am but also potraits what type of guy I am. I do not wish to leave bad impression or to be very calculative with my friends. Unlike certain people that tried to collect RM0.20 from me just because I asked him/her to buy me some sweets. Not only that, opening the car door, pushing the giant and heavy glass door, pulling the chair for her before she sits and even serving the girl during meals are just gestures or manners that I should have, or may be, a guy should have. Do not you think so?
Oh well, I am not trying to convey some hidden message in this post. I was just wondering what is it all about when I was paying for our drinks last night in Coffee Bean. She offered to pay me back but I declined. Guys should not be too calculative with girls, right?
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April 6th, 2005 20:30
can i go out wif u next time? hee =D
April 6th, 2005 20:31
Jason, let’s go for seafood nak keh? hehe…
April 6th, 2005 20:46
I think it’s perfectly alright for girls to pay for themselves. I don’t let my guy friends pay for me when I go out dinner with them- I normally go dutch. Even when I was going out with my ex, I paid for dinner sometimes. We’re still students.. no income yet. Cannot-lah if guys pay all the time. Not that all guys print money.
April 6th, 2005 20:52
wow..you’re such a gentleman!
but i’m one of those girls who can not feel easy if anybody other than my own parents pay for me. even when i go out for dinners with my bf i’d fight over the bill. and i’d get to pay my half because i’m so persistent.
but yeah, you keep this up dude!
April 6th, 2005 21:56
hello, just passing by.
i think girls these days should go on dutch. that’s what i do all the time anyway. either that, or i’ll pay. but it all depends on how broke i am. if im really really broke, the guys will have to pay (they really insist on paying, anyway). but hey, yea, my point is, next time when you’re broke, go dutch if you still wanna remain a gentleman and not let the lady pay for you. :P
April 6th, 2005 22:48
i dun mind going dutch but i do mind if the guy sits there and expect me to pay the whole bill…unless if i say i chia la =P
April 6th, 2005 23:08
Wah lao! Jason u’re extremely generous haha. Gals out there, grab this guy!
April 6th, 2005 23:43
hee, that’s what J ll do…
i only got chance to pay once be4 for the pizza -i think-
April 7th, 2005 00:49
Go dutch is the way for students, no argue!! Don’t ever spend your Parents’money to kau lui, those are not easy money!! Unless your dad is Director of XXX listed company or something!!
April 7th, 2005 01:17
I dun like other guy pay on my behalf except 1+2dad lar.
You dun feel guilty when you cant pay the bill cause you still a student dun have any income yet. Last time i also pay back to 1+2dad when that time we still a student, but he dun accept that money :( nvm he kaya i dun care if he dun wan :P
April 7th, 2005 01:50
Fallling Bubbles : Haha! Can, no problem, if you don’t mind going out with a super duper quiet and boring guy. :)
Msau : You working not supposed to belanja Jason didi first meh?
Eileen : I do agree with you, but do you know how difficult is it for a guy to ask a girl to go dutch? I tried before, I cant even utter out a single word and I was trembling. Have to be very muka tembok to do so ler. But well, it is a plus point that if the girl is willing to pay her own meals though.
Jayelle : Haha. Good for you then, save your bf’s money for your future new house. LOL. :P Just kidding. Thanks for your compliment.
Tickleme : Thanks for dropping by. Haha, again, it is very difficult to ask the girl to go dutch lah~! :)
Grace : Which guy so muka tembok one? Thicker than the Great Wall of China leh! So, when you mau chia me?
Tien Soon : Ask your girl to grab me lah! LOL. Just pulling your legs. I’m flattered. :P
TNS : Hmm, its my allowance and I am eating less to chia the girl. :D Hmm, so, i need to suffer abit too. :P Ok, that a bit “强词夺理”. :P But oh well, how you tell a girl to go dutch? Since you are one of the few guys that commented?
1+2mom : Hahaha… 1+2dad kaya, beh hiao kin lah eh~! ;)
Ahnee : Yeah, only pizza :P
April 7th, 2005 02:17
I will:-
–Senario 1–
Tiuniasing :: **jokingly** “Who’s gonna pay this time?? You??
Girl :: “Ok, I settle the bill this time.”
(Usually girls will say this. Refer to female’s comments above if you are doubt.)
Tiuniasing :: No la.. We go dutch.
–Senario 2–
Tiuniasing :: **jokingly** “Who’s gonna pay this time?? You??
Girl :: “Me ar?? I’m a girl wor. You gentleman pay maaaa.”
(Bitch tak tau malu. One of my ex was once this type. After I educated her, she no longer a thick skin bitch anymore. But still I dumped her for some other reason.)
Tiuniasing :: “No la. I am broke oredi. We go dutch kay…”
–Senario 3–
Tiuniasing :: “Can we go dutch??”
Girl :: “…”
(Speechless because of unwillingness.)
Tiuniasing :: “Tiu… niasing!! I’m still a student kay. Not much pocket money. Can’t afford two persons you know??!! You dad gives you money right?? Go dutch laaa…”
April 7th, 2005 02:18
1+2mom,
no wonder you grabbed your hubby “hmm fong sau” lar… Kaya kononnya!!
April 7th, 2005 04:12
Aiyoh Jason.. sometimes you don’t have to tell her straight on the face one mah. I give u an eg ah…
One day I went out dinner with my ex schoolmate. When the bill came.. he said..
Mine is.. £XXXX.. and he took out his money and paid. I paid for mine. And we tipped a bit. Just a bit lah. No $$
Or.. you take your own order, and she takes her own order.
April 7th, 2005 05:40
TNS : I prefer Eileen’s method. LOL. I doubt I have females friends like in scenario 2 and unless I want to ditch the girl, then I might consider the 3rd method. Hahahah! ;)
Eileen : Hmm, maybe I should try that. ;) Thanks for your example though. Got to learn how to ask the girl to pay for her own expenditure. :P
April 7th, 2005 06:29
I’m on the bandwagon to go Dutch. Only invest in gals who got potential to be gf/wife…..dun waste money on some cheapskate girls out to con guys’ meal.
Being pretty and young is not a meal ticket. Some women damn cheapskate, dun fall for it.
Just go buddy buddy and say okay..so today how much we have to pay… RM 20 ah..so Rm 10 each lah, correct hor?
And, if you dun have much money on hand, suggest some place cheaper. Just speak your mind and be who you are. No need paiseh one. Gals like guys this way more.
April 7th, 2005 08:56
understand …
thats why i hide myself when i broke ..
April 7th, 2005 11:17
Hmm … I can’t help but to ask you, you don’t think you are setting yourself out to be taken advantage of? No doubt I am guilty of allowing guys to pay for me when I was a student … but then I always felt bad about it, and I do draw a line on how much … never never did I let the guy pay for my facial or shopping spree! I have even refused some gifts … Long term relationship or husband to be exceptions lah …
April 7th, 2005 11:47
ET : Hahaha! Let me see see, I dun have frens who are pretty and cheap skate to con guys’ meal. Honestly, don’t have. Cause most of them DID offer to pay me back, just that I felt bad to accept their money only. Oh, I did. ;) There are a few times I suggested other places and she did agree though. :) Ha! Thanks for your advice.
Knight : So, when I don’t see you around means you are broke lah? Haha!
Aleanor’s homeground : Hahaha! I already said the shopping spree and facial was exceptional cases though. :) But oh well, she did pay me back the money of her shopping spree by stuffing the money into my wallet quietly. :D Err, yeah, I am easily easy taken advantage of. :) Sighz… Oh well, we will see about that. Thanks for dropping by.
April 7th, 2005 12:58
I agreed with Jason ….
I mean guys shouldn’t be too calculative while the girls shouldn’t make the guys to buy her all sort of things….
April 7th, 2005 13:48
don’t have to be paiseh to accept the $ if the gal pay you back her share on her own. just smile and say thank you when accepting the payment. u r still studying and don’t have any income… spend wisely :)
April 7th, 2005 13:52
Carol,
this is a huge conflict!! You gotta sort it out!!
April 7th, 2005 13:54
Heck… Now only I realised a spelling error on “scenario”!!
April 7th, 2005 14:48
Carol : Hehe. You are so clever. *hugs*
momof2 : Ok luuuuuuuuu. Next time muka tembok abit.
TNS : It isn’t a conflict. Its true. Guys shouldn’t be too calculative, but the girls got to be pandai pandai as well, no need to wait for the guy to hint her or anything. ;)
April 7th, 2005 23:10
Jason, hey you are abit Dai Nam Yan (big man) la.
if you are going out with someone you not femiliar, you have the right to malu. but for those girls that can sit with you for 2hrs… still got what you cnnot share with her ya.
Girls today are not that Kiam Siap la.
For me, sometime i will tell her: ok this time i pay. next time its yours lo.
and they are willing to accept.
When sometime i am broke… Be4 entering the place, i will straight away tell her:
Wei, me today ‘Boh Lui’ (no money la) wo… you have to belanja me lo….
and… they are willing to spend me. See, girls today also generous and kind :>
April 7th, 2005 23:57
Loc Kee : zui bai those that I go out with are all close friends ler. (got to admit, i got alot of close females friends.) :P Coz if not familiar punya, they wont call me to go out minum minum one. Haha! I never do that before ler. :P The only time I let girl belanja me is like they are working and got income, their birthday or special occasion or well, they think i belanja them few times liao, its their turn. heheh~
April 8th, 2005 00:42
Nolar..1+2dad no so kaya lar. Last time cause still single mar got lot of money to spend but now got family oledi so he broke liao lor..hehehe. Now i become kaya cause his money is my money..my money is my money too wahahaha :P
April 8th, 2005 08:55
Actually Jason, I am one of your regular blog readers. But a silent one. haha. Just thought you might want to know.
April 8th, 2005 11:51
1+2mom is a real typical auntie!! Gurls shouldn’t learn from her in order to look young kay… dun be auntie!
“your money is my money..my money is my money too”
My ex in scenario 2 said this to me before. I educated her before I dumped her. So before we broke up, she already said she will give me all her savings and incomes. Education is important in our society.
April 8th, 2005 20:59
jason correction here! not every gals will expect guys to pay! Those that expect guys to pay are those looking at your wallet ok! So don’t get conned! and stop being such a ‘big man’ thinking!
:P bleh~~
-ice_queen-
April 8th, 2005 23:24
1+2mom : Why you evil one? But there’s a chinese proverb saying that all the wife will have a secret savings of their own, only themselves know the existance of it.
Aleanor’s Homeground : Oh, another silent reader again. -__-” why decided to show yourself this time? :P Thanks for reading my blog and being a silent reader. ;) I appreciate it.
TNS : Hehe. Dun lah spoil 1+2mom’s reputation. :P Oh~ haha, how much is her savings and income? LOL. Enuff to cover back boh?
Ice Queen : Hahaha! Okloh~! She just belanja me eat Nando’s today. So nice. :P
April 9th, 2005 01:27
jason,
cover back?? This is not the purpose of education kay…
April 9th, 2005 02:46
Khikhikhi~ Just pulling your legs lah~ ;)
April 14th, 2005 00:01
you know….if you told her the truth….that you had rm20 left to spend for one week….i am 100% sure she would understand and pay for the whole thing…..problably borrow you money some more…..but then again depending on what type of girl she is……she might be thinking poor bastard…next time dun wan ajak him yum cha already….have to pay….OR what an honest guy….. :)
April 14th, 2005 00:14
Sexythang :
Heh, didn’t expect you to comment at the old post though. Thanks for reading it. :) Hmm, with her character, i think she would either belanja me or go for dutch. She wont think me as a poor bastard coz i belanja her many times aldy also. :P Hehe~! thanks for dropping by!