It has been exactly one week since I officially (bringing back my computer) moved back to Tampin for my 2 months holidays. All I ever did was sleep, eat, “yam cha”, connect myself to the internet from my friend’s place and cyber café, boiling bean bean and “lepaking” around the house or town. Besides, it is my first holidays that I am not working any part time job to earn extra allowance or money. Even my parent’s friends, seniors, juniors, relatives and friends gave me a weird (sarcastic?) look when I told them I did not apply for any part time job or not planning to work during the holidays. Therefore, I feel so useless sometimes especially when I have nothing to do or I am a parasite or junk in this house. Never mind, I am getting used to it already. That also explains the reason of me not blogging as often as before (when I am having classes). Since I started my holidays, my daily hits and page views have dropped significantly. I have no idea what is going wrong though. Is my golden time has slipped away without me noticing, is my blog getting boring, is my blog losing its readers or is because I do not ping PPS that often anymore? Although I do not get obsess with hits, but I do mind when the daily hits has drop by a number of 100 to 130. That is a lot! Oh well, hope it will go back to normal once I start my school again 2 months later. –grins-

2 days ago, I did something stupid – telling somebody (a lady to be specific) that I have this feeling of like towards her. Although I think it is normal to say something like that, but it still freaks the girl out, right? Honestly, it is not love or I could say (hopefully) it has not evolved into love. I feel nice and comfortable whenever I chat with her through IMs. Well, you might say that everybody could give me the same feeling but it is different. It is like I am willing to tell her anything if she is to ask anything about me, I do not mind telling her things that I have planned to hide from my friends. In other words, I am willing to be 100% honest and I trust her that she will keep it secret for me. Besides, when I am super bored, she is one of the few persons that will come into my mind. I will pick up my mobile phone and SMS her in no time, hoping for a reply from her. Although I barely understand her (I hate and suck in understanding one person’s character.), but sometimes, its like I can guess a little bit of what is going in her mind, a little bit. Every day, I do hope to hear from her – miss her, I suppose that is a “Yes”. The best part is…… -silenced-

Somehow, I am expecting the worst outcome (I am a pessimistic person.) which is the like feeling will turn into love and get rejected again. Although she did indirectly tell me a little bit about what she was looking for in her future boy friend, I am not very sure whether I have what she wants or seeks. Am I up to her expectation? I doubt because I do not even have any expectations for myself, for what reason I am able to live up to her expectation, I really do not know. Not only I have no confidence in myself, I also believe that I am just not good for anybody or any girls. I do not have the looks, the charm, the intelligence, the cash, the car, the credit cards and I do not even have the skills of communicating, unless you want to consider as IM-ing as part of the communication skills. Like what Mr. Kiasu said in a post before, I always ask myself, “Is sincerity and pure love enough to create a relationship between 2 people?” I am not very sure and I am yet to find the answer by myself. Besides, she is a regular reader of “Jason Mumbles”, can she accept the fact that, inside my heart, there are few more people (Mainly girls – NeeNee, Adeline and my second family) that I care and love as much as her (That is if she is my girl friend.)?

It is 4AM now and I think that I have thought too much over one simple matter. It is just a simple feeling – like, why and how did it end up so many things? May be it is just some plain friendship or I am day dreaming again. I think it is the latter one. I have listened to many couples’ problems and stories, I even came up to the point to help, to advice (Albeit it is never as good as April’s.), to teach and to guide them in certain point of their relationships and feelings. Funny thing is how come I can never handle my own feelings? I really cannot do so and my friends always think that I can handle it better than them. For God’s sake, I also need advices and suggestions too in my own problems. May be Tiu Nia Sing or Mr. Belacan can help me in this, I hope.

What triggered this post? I have no idea, guy’s PMS? –lol-

P/S :

I shall bring you all for a trip to Bukit Tampin tomorrow, with fresh and freaking cooling mountain water awaiting us, I mean, me! –wink-

By the way, any people out there know how to help me regarding bout my Windows Media Player? Although I have installed the proper video codec (DivX 5.11) in my computer, every time I try to watch Gundam Seed : Destiny with my computer, the sound / voice is faster than the visual / scene. I am currently using 1.6 Ghz P4, genuine Intel / Dell mobo, 256MB SDRAM and 40GB of HDD. I do not run any other applications, with the most minimal program running in the background. The problem still occurs. Please advice.

My friends - Ah Yong, Ah Kit and me went down to Malacca yesterday to do some stuff. Ah Yong wanted to see a “sin seh” and I wanted to bring back my computer to Tampin. Ah Kit got nothing to do so he followed us along.

I brought back my computer to Tampin because I found a place to online and its with Screamyx! A million thanks to Ah Kit for allowing me to put my computer in his house and use his Screamyx service so that I can go online, to download my weekly dose of Gundam Seed : Destiny and also a place for me to blog / read blogs. Thanks a lot, dude!

Back to the story.

After finishing our stuffs and having lunch, we decided to take the highway to go back Tampin instead of the trunk road. The distance from Ayer Keroh toll to Tampin toll is about 34km and will take us about 20 - 25 minutes at the cost of RM3.10. As for the trunk road, it is about 38km and will take us 40 - 45 minutes.

As you can see from the map above, in order to go back Tampin, we need to take the road to Kuala Lumpur / Seremban or in other words, head north. After the toll, it is a Y-junction. The left is to Kuala Lumpur while the right is to Johor Bahru. Ah Kit and me were trying to be funny by saying “Right! Right! Johor Bahru lah~!” when we both knew it was left. We were joking for about 500 meters and apparently, we have confused the driver - Ah Yong! He entered the right lane and we were on our way to Johor Bahru!

Ah Kit and I were dumfucked! Then I said, “Ooi! Left lah~!” Ah Yong looked at me with a confused look. After 1 minute only he realized his mistake. Then, all of us were laughing like mad cows. We drove and laughed all the way to the next exit - Jasin and paid RM2.40 for that. Then, we made a U-turn and entered the highway again. We exited Tampin toll and reached home safely by paying RM5.30.

We traveled 84km in one afternoon to go back Tampin instead of 34km. -sweat-

My Lunch : RM11.03 (I ate 2 Big Mac for my lunch. -sweat-)
Toll Fee : RM7.70
Memories : Priceless.

For everything else, there is Jason Lioh to blog it out.

If you happen to pass by or stop at Tampin at night, about 11PM, you should wait until 12AM to eat the local “Char Kuey Teow” and “Satay”. It is very popular in my hometown and everyday, especially between 12AM to 1.30AM, the place will be super packed. Tampin is a dead town by 10PM and only the “mamak” stall and food stall are operating their business. However, these 2 stall operators will only start their business at 11.30PM and close at about 3AM. 11.30PM to 1AM is the time for families while 1AM onwards are for the teenagers. You do not have to be surprise if you see your neighbour at the stall at 12AM and their children at 2AM at the same place.

A 60 years old grandmother, wearing a pair of thick glasses, will be frying the “kuey teow” whole night non stop while a man in his 40’s will be managing the “satay”. I used the word “managing” instead of barbecuing the “satay” because between 12AM to 1AM, the customers will be doing the barbecuing instead of him. It is 10 times faster to do the job yourself rather than waiting for him to serve you. The man will be busying collecting money and managing his stall. If you come at 12AM, you have to set up and wipe the table, prepare the ice and drinks, cut the “ketupat” and cucumber, barbecue the “satay” all by yourself. Even if you told / reminded him countless time, he will give you that “LCLY” look. No shit! If you are planning to wait for him to serve you, God bless you! Therefore, for -cough- smart -cough- people like me, I shall go to the shop at 1.30AM on weekdays and 2AM on weekends, when there are not much people left.

So, you think you can eat the “char kuey teow” while waiting for the “satay”? You are so wrong! The “satay” and “char kuey teow” usually come together. People who come will definately eat their “satay” and “char kuey teow”, never either one. It is the best combination you can find. I once waited for about 1 hour for my “char kuey teow”. Oh well, no choice, they are dominating the “char kuey teow” and “satay” market in Tampin, for the past 14 years. Yeah, 14 years or maybe longer than that.

The “char kuey teow” is fried with enormous amount of oil and pork lards. Her “char kuey teow” is a little bit wet due to the excessive oils she uses. The smell is strong and very appealing because of the pork lards too. Therefore, the taste is just simple indescribable. Besides, she does not fry the “kuey teow” in big amount or big serving, which is one of the most important rules in cooking.

As for the “satay”, Penang has her very own special “satay“, so does Tampin. The “satay” in Tampin is sweet. S-W-E-E-T, sweet. It is like meant to be dessert instead of the main dish, which is the “char kuey teow” in this case. Its like you will never have enough of them and you can go on eating forever. Although the peanut sauce is a little bit plain for my taste bud, but somehow, after dipping the meat into the sauce and putting it into your mouth, I feel like I am in heaven.

-Takes a piece of tissue to wipe the saliva on my keyboard.-

I am hungry and I better stop here before I rush back to Tampin to eat the mouth watering supper combination - “char kuey teow” and “satay”. If you are not in Malaysia, may be you can try James’ DIY “Char Kuey Teow“.

I finally had a 30 minutes long conversation with my mother. However, she was the one speaking most of the time though. Yes, one round of endless nagging, questioning, and scolding about my screwed up results. Every thing was brought up, from my parent’s income, the house’s expenditure, my car, my lifestyle, my result, my friends, my housemate’s DVDs, my choice of entering MMU instead of Form 6 and bla bla bla… Sigh… Basically, “hopeless” is the only word that is able to summarize everything.

I may have not tried my best, but I did try.

I have stopped football betting and bookie because I promised my dad.

Even if I have tried my best, you will still say that I have not tried my best.

I am not living in anybody’s shadows or I should achieve what they can achieve.

I do not excel in my studies or academically. I, also hope that I would not fail my exam.

Do not compare me with your colleagues’ daughters. We are never meant to be the same.

I do not go out “yam cha”, watch movie or go enjoy myself with my housemates or friends anymore.

I do stay up until 6AM and I do spend most of my time in front of my computer but that do not mean I do not study for my examinations.

If everybody is the same and get first class honors, there will be no beggars in this world and everybody will be earning as much as Bill Gates.

Nobody says engineering courses are easy. I am glad that you know that too. However, we, engineering students are better in knowing how difficult it is.

I do not take every thing for granted. I do not ask anything from you, to buy or get me the things that I desire. I worked for all the things that I desired. Please do not act as if you bought my Nokia 6100 just because you sponsored RM100 for the gadget.

Thank you for giving me allowance. However, the allowance you gave me is barely enough for my 1 month’s expenditure. Please do not question me on how I spent my money because the money I used for buying presents and stuffs is the money I saved by skipping meals and taking up part time jobs.

-End-

Sometimes, I really wonder what I am doing in this world. I do not excel academically; neither have I had a skill that I can help me in earning a living. I am not living up to my parent’s expectation; neither I am capable of fulfilling their wishes. I never have a taste of success before and what I have is an account of achievements that are marked with the word – “Failed”. I guess I am a product of failure too. Duh~!

I am considering of going back to Malacca within these few days. My home is not a place for me to stay in. Spend more time with my family? Bah~! I am considering of quitting my studies too before my parent dump more money on me.

Earl-ku, does your company have any vacancy?

P/S : Consider Jason is in hiatus mode due to no proper place for connection in Tampin. I will blog if I have the chance.

This post is dedicated to all the SAHMs that read my blog.

My blog’s first SAHM reader was Miss Lilian, owner of “5xmom” and “Penang Faces“. “Jason Mumbles” was promoted / mentioned a few times in her blog as well, which definately helped me a lot in gaining new readers.

This was followed by Miss Maria, owner of “Double Happiness” and “双喜临门” who followed my blog not long after I started my blog, leaving comments in each and every post that motivated me to write more.

It was then Miss Earthtone, owner of “I think….Therefore I am” joined the world of endless mumbling. She is the one who tried to rob me by selling me RM20 for a bar of soap and bully me with her comments. However, it was funny and wicked.

Then, there were Miss MSau, Miss Mumsgather, Miss 1+2mom, Miss Chrissy, Miss Sexy Mum and some FTW-SYT like Miss Grace and Miss Ice Queen. It was the time when my blog was consisted of SAHMs and FTW-SYT as my majority blog readers and commentors.

I hope I did not miss out anybody. Although I do not know why some time during march March, they became silent readers of “Jason Mumbles” and also not commenting on every posts like they used to be and/or visiting my blog on daily basis. Miss Earthtone said that my blog is starting to have more younger or readers who are about the same age as me commenting in my blog, my posts are getting “younger” nowadays and the SAHMs or FTWMs or FTW-SYT are just busy. Therefore, they might feel a little bit left out; thus, not commenting anymore. True? I agree though.

Anyway, this post is a little “Thank You” post to all the SAHMs who read my blog. It was you people who made me this far and gave me the motivation to blog. Yeah, its true. Thank you so much. Although I hardly see your presence in the comment board nowadays, I do believe that you all come here “silently” and also leave here “silently”, without leaving a trace behind.

Side story :

This post was triggered when I was about to sleep after I recalled that I only managed to have a less than 5 sentences conversation with my mum throughout the 3 days when I was in Tampin.

“Ah Ma~!” (I greeted her when I just reached home on the first day.)
“……”

“How many tires you changed today?”
“2 new front tires and 2 old back tires only.” (I changed my car’s tires on the second day.)

“Put back the things into their proper place before I shout at you.” (This is a note sticked onto the door of my room. Its a non verbal communication.)

That was all the “conversation” we had throughout the 3 days albeit my mum cooked my favourite dish - “梅菜扣肉” for me. Here is another story that is also meant for my mum.

Thanks, Mum!

P/S : I am going back to Tampin for the next few days, in other words, being disconnect from the “matrix”. I shall be spending some time in Cyber Cafe.